A few weeks ago evidence of my family’s love for me presented itself that I never wanted to see, and pray will never have to see it again. Back then, my children stood shaking and crying before me as they witnessed my health deteriorate so quickly that an ambulance came to take me away from them. They didn’t need to say it but I knew; I knew what they were thinking: they might not see their Daddy alive again. Continue reading
This post isn’t perfect, it’s undoubtedly clumsy and both my argument and views poorly articulated, but I hope you’ll be understanding – I was juggling clearing up multiple piles of sick provided by my poorly son with doing several loads of washing, ferrying my daughter between school and music lessons, picking up my wife from her job and trying to study as part of my Ordination Training. My excuse: I’m just not very good at multi-tasking.
On 9th December 2019, @manwhohasitall posted a question on Twitter:
In the blur between what is fake and what is real on social media and in the news it isn’t immediately apparent that @Manwhohasitall is a parody account (see this article in The Independent from 2016). The account, and many of the responses to it’s tweets, point towards the sexism directed towards women by highlighting attitudes that are all too real. The responses below show it well by rephrasing the questions posed to women as questions to pose to men.
The sexism and double standards the responses pointed towards are wrong, but was there anything wrong in the question that was asked? Continue reading
The signs are coming: “World’s Best Dad” printed on multiple t-shirts hanging on a clothes rails; scores of cards with “Number 1 Dad” on; “Perfect gift for Father’s Day” on everything from albums of 1980s soft-rock to packets of beef for the barbecue, essentially anything the real industry deems ‘manly’. Their prevalence making the statements meaningless. Their appeal to sentimentality for commercial gain that turns fatherhood into an apparent competition.
I’m not a fan. Continue reading
Growing up as the youngest of three, opportunities to talk were few and far between. Each one had to be seized upon in case it would be a year before another would come again. Silence was my chance to speak.
Whatever the truth of my memory, the impact was that silence became an entity that I needed to fill; if I didn’t, and it continued, I would become increasingly uncomfortable. And so I filled them. I would jump into the silence with whatever opinion, facts or half-baked humour I could muster. It wasn’t always the best idea.
Filling the silence risks not hearing the very thing that needs to be heard. Increasingly I’ve realised that isn’t me.
In my previous post I wrote about my determination to find a pattern of daily prayer that suited being a working parent. The combination of the school run, a days work, family life and church had made if difficult to find enough space and time to connect with God through dwelling on liturgy and scripture.
I decided to take 3 different sources of the Daily Office available in multiple formats and focus on each for a week: Common Prayer: A Liturgy for Ordinary Radicals, the Northumbria Community’s Daily Office and the Church of England’s Time to Pray. which together combine a mixture of books, the internet, smart-phones and music.
This post is part reflection and part review of these and the impact focusing on applying them to an inconsistent and complicated schedule had on me. As I found out when trying to do Morning, Midday and Night Prayer, not each format is necessarily suited to each part of the day. Continue reading
Recent events suggest that we are good at loving our neighbour in times of need but less so when we find out what they might think.
In typical British fashion the country reacted to the terrorist attacks London and Manchester by sticking two fingers up at terrorists, supported those affected and carried on as normal. When tragedy struck those living in Grenfell Tower the community came together just as they had after the terrorist attacks; churches, mosques and others opened up their doors, hearts and wallets to rally around to support those in need.
But when it comes to expressing views or engaging in debates we seemingly find it easier to hate our neighbour than love them. Those who agree with us and live within our neighbourhood of opinions are wise people of distinction, those who don’t are our enemy to be cast out or defeated. Continue reading
Warning: this post contains plot details and spoilers from the film Silence by Martin Scorsese.
Martin Scorsese is not one afraid to ask challenging questions about the nature of man and faith, questions that some find simply the mention of a step too far, even heretical. Faith is something that has been a subject of exploration in his life and films. Having once sought to become a priest he famously adapted and filmed Nikos Kazantzakis’ novel The Last Temptation of Christ, exploring the idea that Jesus may have struggled with his contrasting human and divine nature.
In his latest movie Silence he has taken more challenging areas to explore by taking Shusako Endo’s novel about 2 Jesuit priests who travel to 17th Century Japan in search of their former mentor who, according to rumours, had renounced his faith. At that time Christians in Japan were suffering under a brutal regime seeking to wipe out the faith. They were forced to renounce their faith, an act known as apostasy, by stepping on an image of Christ known as a fumie. Those that refused to apostatise were tortured, often to a slow and excruciating death.
The title alludes to Gods seeming silence or absence whilst people suffer for their belief in Him, and as the priests watch the persecution unforced around them their faith is severely tested. Whilst believers’ faith gives them strength, the priests struggle to maintain their own faith as the silence breeds doubts.
The film illustrates some of the challenges the persecuted church went through then, and still does today. One of those challenges is the decision whether to profess and practice a faith in public and risk the consequences or to hide their faith away, even publicly renounce or denounce it, and consciously act against the God they privately believe in.
Life never stops, even when it does.
In the midst of my commute on Tuesday 22nd March 2016 a terrorist attack ended the commute of others in Brussels. As I began another normal working day others were beginning a nightmare. Terrorism was once more brought from the war zones of foreign fields to the pavements of Europe.
At times such as this it can be hard to know how to respond. All I could do was to pray.
Whatever your view on marriage, whether you hold to the traditional man and woman model or a gender-blind union, the case of Ashers Backing Company vs Gareth Lee mirrors troubling characteristics of our society: a misunderstanding of tolerance and a gladiatorial approach to deciding what’s acceptable. Continue reading
Jabez was more honourable than his brothers. His mother had named him Jabez, saying, “I gave birth to him in pain”. Jabez cried out to the God of Israel, “Oh, that you would bless me and enlarge my territory! Let your hand be with me, and keep me from harm so that I will be free from pain”. And God granted his request. 1 Chronicles 4:9-10
These 2 verses come in the midst of a geneaology. Breaking up a list of names broken by a historical note wasn’t an uncommon thing to find in Middle-eastern biblical and non-biblical genealogies in the Middle East when this was written.
Because of their placement in the text though these two verses stand out and almost demand some attention.
Some have suggested that the place called Jabez, mentioned a few chapters back in 1 Chronicles 2:55, is named after the man we hear about in tonights passage. Jabez the place is near Bethlehem, in the Valley of Elah, and was known as a place where clans of scribes lived reading and copying literature.
What we know about Jabez the man is contained solely within these 2 verses. So what do we know, and what can God have for us in it tonight?
2 verses, 1 about his birth, another about his life that followed.
His mother had named him Jabez, saying, “I gave birth to him in pain.”
When we hear in the Bible about the meaning and reasoning behind a given name we get an insight into the situation that they were born into.
It strikes me that the pain of which Jabez’s mother names him after may not be childbirth. Now being a man I’m obviously no expert on child-birth but I do appreciate that it is rather painful: my hand hurt for ages after my wife had stopped squeezing it once our children had been born… Apparently it’s painful for ladies too!
There was no gas and air or epidural available when ladies gave birth in Biblical times, so the pain they went through was particularly immense and dangerous, as unfortunately it still is for too many women around the world even today. That such a painful thing would have happened very often during the vast time period the Bible covers made me wonder why a name that means “I gave birth to him in pain” is only found once within it.
Perhaps the pain of which Jabez’s mother refers to is something less common than the pain of childbirth. Perhaps, and this is conjecture on my part, perhaps there were complications during the pregnancy or labour that resulted in Jabez having a painful disability? Perhaps Jabez was born into a troubled and difficult situation that his family found themselves in at that time? There are many such children being born in Ukraine, Syria, Nigeria and Iraq right now.
You may wonder why I’m dwelling on the pain within these 2 verses and not going straight to the famous bit, the section of verse 10 on which a multi-million-selling book was based and which adorns pens and picture frames, coasters and posters, fridge magnets and key fobs? I speak, of course, of Bruce Wilkinson’s book titled The Prayer of Jabez, but for me this passage is no prosperity gospel.
I will come on to the prayer itself in a moment but as I read, prayed and contemplated this passage the love that is found amidst the pain stood out. And it is this love and pain that informs Jabez’s character and prayer. If we jump straight to the prayer we miss the point of the prayer itself, which isn’t a prayer of prosperity but a prayer for love.
Even the order within verse 9 tells us quite a lot. The order of verse 9, just like throughout the Bible, isn’t accidental but deliberate. It tells us something. Verse 9 starts not with his birth but with the nature of his character: “Jabez was more honourable than his brothers”
Notice that we don’t hear that Jabez’s brothers we dishonourable but that Jabez was more honourable. What made him more honourable? Could it be that his character was born out of his gratitude for being shown love despite the painful life he was born into or led since birth? He wasn’t abandoned and left to fend for himself but grew up being loved and with his brothers. He didn’t take that love for granted, nor did he take God’s love for granted either.
Life wasn’t easy for Jabez. We can tell that in part because he didn’t simply pray to God, he cried out in prayer to God. He asks God to bless him and enlarge his territory. Now given that Jabez is an honourable man this isn’t a request born out of greed. He isn’t asking for a greater property portfolio from which to become rich; by asking for his territory to be enlarged Jabez is asking to be given more responsibilities. This is the mark of a person who wants to give back not to have a cushy life.
By asking God to enlarge his territory he is asking for more blessings from God. But he is wise as well as honourable, and doesn’t end with this simple request for more opportunities.
Life had taught him that if he is going to make the most of the opportunities God grants him he won’t be able to do so alone and in his own strength. And he knows that in order to use those opportunities effectively he is going to need three things:
- to be in tune with God (God with Him);
- to be protected by God from harm;
- to be freed from pain.
We don’t know how old Jabez is or just what is painful for him. Nor do we know how many times he has asked God for protection and to be freed from the pain but we do know that God grants him his request.
It is safe to assume that with his honourable characteristics that Jabez showed his gratitude to God for answering his prayer. But how? And how does Jabez’s life relate to us today?
Jabez prayed that God would enlarge his territories. At first glance that sounds like Jabez wants more land, and certainly that would have been seen as a direct blessing from God. It may sound somewhat materialistic but, given Jabez’s nature, it could well have been so that he could grow more crops and raise more animals in order to provide for his family. There would have been nothing wrong in that. Nor would there have been anything wrong in wanting to be free from pain as he did that.
But it strikes me that in the nature of both Jabez and God there is more to it than a simple re-drawing of a geographical boundary.
Borders are a human creation but they aren’t just geographical. We use them to create order and comfort. We organise friends and relations into groups, our hobbies and interests too. Sometimes those borders overlap like a venn diagram but so often our life and faith becomes compartmentalised.
Whilst we spend much of our time crossing geographical borders our relationship borders are often closed. Yet just as when we go on holiday to foreign lands we learn and see new things so it is with relationships.
God is interested in souls not square metres so extending His Kingdom needs much more than an expanding land portfolio on which His adopted children could live in safety whilst they wait for the eternal kingdom. Just as God works indiscriminately across both geographical and relationship borders, He wants us to do so too.
God knows the nature of love because He is love. He gives to us because He loves us and like true love He gives unconditionally, demanding nothing in return. God knows though that if we appreciate the love something we will want to share it with others, and He is counting on us sharing our love and knowledge of Him with others.
Instead of watching from the sidelines as the Fantastic Trio of God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit collect souls one by one, God invites us in to join Team Trinity and be part of the fun.
We could sit on our sofas at home and reach for another cup of tea, safe in the comfort of our salvation but we would be so much poorer for it! God won’t love us any less if we did but He knows we will have so much fun playing an active part. But in one sense we don’t have any choice as to whether we want to get involved or not.
In 2 Corinthians 5:16 to 6:2 Paul called us to be Christ’s ambassadors. Ambassadors are the embodiment of a land, of a kingdom, and they cross borders to represent their home country and government.
As a result of the blessings he received Jabez would have been seen by those around him to be an ambassador of God. We too are seen to represent God by those with whom we meet. We are in effect seen as a living embodiment of God’s Kingdom.
Jabez prayed for more territory, for more opportunities, and not to be confined by pain. Being an honourable man he would have given back even more so when those prayers were answered. He would not have received God’s grace in vain, just as Paul urges us not to as well.
God doesn’t want us to confine who we share our faith with to those in our comforting compartments. God wants us to open up those compartments and cross over their borders. As we extend our personal borders we can put love into action as Christ’s ambassadors. As we do so God strengthens and extends His Kingdom bit by bit, soul by soul.
God wants to use us in extending His kingdom, in bringing more people to the eternal party. He needs us to break out of our comfortably ordered lives and try something different. Think of it as a holiday, you don’t have to stay but you might want to!
So what borders limit you from sharing your love and appreciation for all that God has done for you? How many borders do you need to open and cross? What new territories and people do you need to visit to pass on God’s love to?
Remember one thing as you contemplate that: just as He promised to be with Jabez, God goes with us too.